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02 December 2008 @ 04:26 pm
Feedback PLZ K THNX BAI!  
I am going to post something. I am not going to give you any background OR information ABOUT this. I simply would like you all to read this and leave me a comment here telling me if this is interesting, and if you would want to read more. Nothing else. No grammer feedback, nothing.

Simply tell me if YES you found it interesting, or NO you did not.

The only thing I will tell you is that its a project that I am working on. Thats all. It shall begin under the line break.


The campfire crackled in the still air, and the light from it illuminated the two men sitting near it, and the clearing they sat in. The dark seemed to hang back near the trees, almost oppressive. One of the men, a human, stirred a pot full of stew while the other, a dwarf, sat and smoked a pipe. The pungent pipe smoke hung in the air, casting a hazy pall over the grove where they two sat. After a few moments, the human spoke. "So, Gungrier was it, what brings you to these parts?"
Gungrier put his pipe down and looked into the fire, the light reflecting in his grey eyes. "I don't think you will believe me lad."
The man smiled slightly and used his free hand to push his black hair out of his face. "My name is Argoth, remember? And try me, I might surprise you."
The dwarf nodded, and motioned with one stubby hand towards the pot. "What are ya cookin lad, if I kin ask?"
"Oh just some beans and salt pork." Argoth stirred the pot and took a sip. "Its almost ready. How about this? You tell me your story, and I will tell ya mine?" The smell of the pot began to fill the glade, and Gungrier felt his mouth begin to water.
"Alright laddie." Gungrier got his waterskin out and took a drink, and then began. "I believe I already told ya that I come from the northern mountain tribes, aye?" Argoth nodded. "Well, about three months ago or thereabouts, a strange carnival came to town."
"What made it strange?" Argoth asked as he took a sip of the stew, and then took out two bowls and began to spoon the hearty meal into them. He offered one to Gungrier, who took the bowl and continued. "It was the workers lad. Most of the time when a carnival comes to town, its a time for celebration and the people who work them tend to be happy folk. These people seemed, at least to me, to have a sort of forced happiness. I couldn't get a good look at them though as I was on my way out of town to visit the nearby traders market."
Argoth took a bite of his stew, and then got a loaf of bread out of his pack. He tore it in half and offered one part to Gungrier, who took it with a brief thank you. "Do ya have any jam or butter lad to go with this bread?" Argoth shook his head and readjusted his seat on the ground, and as Gungrier continued he got his bedroll out.
"As I was saying, I was leaving just as the carnival was setting up. It took me 4 days to go out to the traders post with my wares, and to come back. When I got back I found that my wife and son where missing. Now I was right mad I tell you, but the worst part of it was that no one remembered them, or the carnival. In fact, my own clansmen began to think I was crazy."
Argoth nodded as he finished laying out his bedroll. He then began to eat his stew in silence as he contemplated the dwarfs story. Both men sat in silence, the sound of chewing and the crackling and snapping of the campfire the only noises. Finally, after he had finished his stew, Argoth spoke. "I believe you Gungrier." The dwarf's head snapped up suddenly, his red hair flying back behind his head.
"Why lad?"
"Cause your story is very similar to mine, thats why." Gungrier stared at the young man. To him, Argoth seemed to young to be married, but Gungrier was never very good at judging the age of humans. He quickly took stock of the human, noticing for the first time his armor and sword. "You seem a bit young to be married lad, no offense."
Argoth laughed, a deep vibrant sound. "No no, I am not married. In fact, I was a soldier in the kings army, and not a bad one at that if I may say so. I was home on leave and a carnival appeared. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, and I had to leave town as well. I was asked to go grab some supplies from a neighboring town. It took me 3 days to return and when I did, a found that my sister was missing, and no one had any memory of her, even my own mother. And just like you, no one but me remembered the carnival."
The fire continued to crackle as Gungrier sat in silence, absently refilling his pipe. Argoth took stock of the dwarf, carefully noticing the axe, shield, and plate armor that he kept close to him. Finally Gungrier spoke. "Well lad, thats the first I have heard. So why are you out here?"
"I was on my way to the town of Aldaern. Its the biggest town in this region and if anyone else has the same situation we have, I figure that they would be there."
"Would ya mind if I traveled with ya? I don't believe in fate but meeting out here has to mean something."
Argoth smiled. "I would be honored." Then Argoth pointed at Gungrier's axe and said "You any good with that?"
The dwarf gave Argoth a level gaze that spoke volumes, and the human laughed. "Alright, alright. Forget I asked. Lets get some sleep, we should be at the town by midday tomorrow."
vectyr: Dorkvectyr on December 15th, 2008 05:24 am (UTC)
Well your grammar is a bit... Oh, right. Well, never mind that.

I would reword the part where Argoth says... Damn, that's not what you want either.

Um... Yes.
Clayton B.spirit_of_silva on December 15th, 2008 12:59 pm (UTC)
Yea I am getting grammer and rewording help :P

The story itself is now done, its nearly 10k words 0_0